There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
