i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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