i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
