I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
