Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize