with your own penis?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
