ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
