Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
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I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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