so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize