Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
