omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
