Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
