just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
