they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
