Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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