So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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