Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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