I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
