Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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