I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
