Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
