Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
