When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
