I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
