i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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