If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
did you just send me my own nude
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
