I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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