those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
