We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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