Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
