Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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