i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
