Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
