you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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