i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
