Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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