I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
