i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
