Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
