everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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