Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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