mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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