the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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