it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
