I got chris browned last night
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
PANTIES FOUND
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