Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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