Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
