So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
