pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
