i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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