I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
