I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
