And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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