Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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