Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
