Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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