Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
