Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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